Kehlani has struggled to process the deaths of three of her friends in the past six months, admitting she finds it hard ‘not to feel guilty’ about their passing.
The 25-year-old singer was close to rappers Lexii Alijai and Chynna Rogers, who died in January and April respectively from accidental overdoses, and to Ryan Bowers, who committed suicide last month.
In a new interview with Bustle admitted she often beats herself up about the deaths.
“I just lost my third friend this year and it’s only been half the year,” she said, “So, that’s been strange, just processing that, but also just trying not to feel guilty, has been the hardest thing.”
“I’ve had to almost develop this relationship with death that I kind of always had… of really being conscious about what I do while I’m here,” she reflected.
Adding that her biggest fear would be to die with tonnes of regrets about her life, Kehlani explained: “I’ve been able to identify the difference between what is feeding my ego and what is feeding my soul. Understanding that I feel fuller longer after things like seeing my family on holiday versus how I feel after I buy myself something.”
Elsewhere in the interview, Kehlani contemplated life as a celebrity and confessed it’s hard when break-ups play out in the public eye – such as when she split from YG earlier this year.
The Good Life singer mused: “I’m bringing myself joy. I’m not holding back because I really understand time. I try to go spend as much time thoughtfully creating those moments as I can.”